Where did you come from?When approached by prosthelytizing people from the planet Pluto, I always say "No thanks, I'm an Atheist" and try to shut down the conversation there. (Although it makes good blogging fodder, I'd rather not deal with 'em.) The next thing they say is almost always, "Well, where did you come from?"
I know what they're getting at. I do, really. This is all about abiogenesis. But no, I play along because I'm hoping...well, I don't know what I'm hoping. Maybe I'm just too literal for my own good. I answer the question.
me: My parents had sex. Sperm meets egg, egg cooks in the womb for nine months, and here I am.
them: Yes, but where did THEY come from?
me: Their parents also had sex. Same deal.
them: Yes, but where did THEIR parents come from?
As I sigh outwardly, you see this stupid smile start to spread across their mouths, as if they're thinking "I'm making this fellow THINK about his beliefs, for the first time ever!" No, you regrettable penis issue! What you're doing is annoying me by not just asking the fucking question you're going to get at eventually if I name every single one of my ancestors back to protoplasm. You want to ask how life came into being in the first place. Don't give me this song and dance. It's below me and it does no favors for you either.
me: Let's break this down, OK? What you're really asking is where did life on Earth come from, right?
them: Exactly. Where did all this come from?
me: Well, there was the Big Bang and then the formation of galaxies, the formation of stars, planets, solar systems, abiogenesis, evolution...eventually you and I standing here talking about it all.
I have never ever heard any good response to that from these folks on the street (or doorstep). They shift gears and ask something different. That's it. They don't have an answer to that. They don't want to discuss that avenue further, so they come up with something else.
them: Well, what do you think about all the evil in the world?
Now, let's back up one fucking second. It's disingenuous of them to jump to a different topic, and from now on I'm not going to allow it. There's no point in shooting down their arguments if they're not going to either a) refute what I've said b) admit they can't refute what I've said or c) give me some explanation as to why we're switching topics. I can't stand there all day and bounce dumb ideas off of my chest without some sort of reward for doing so. When I put you in your place, you'd better fucking react and not just pretend I didn't answer you. This is a tactic of salespeople who don't really listen to what you say. They're just thinking about the next thing they're going to hit you with to persuade you. Religion pushers have this mastered.
The point is this - even if you asked me "Where did you come from?" and I fell to the ground holding my ears and screaming "Noooooooooo! I have been asked an unanswerable question! Dammmmmmnnnn youuuuuuu!" guess what? That still wouldn't make your ideas about the origin of life correct. That's like saying "You don't know what 2 + 2 is? Well, if you can't answer it, my answer of 27.5 must be correct!" That's not how shit works.
So...once again it's time for the most electrifying phrase in Talk City today - Shut Up and Die.
Labels: religion
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