In honor of Independence Day, I'd like to take a contrarian view. July 4th is the day we here in America celebrate our independence. Our independence from England, historically. But maybe things would be better if we were still under British rule.TV - They have Doctor Who, Top Gear and Monty Python. We have Medium, The Dukes Of Hazzard and Full House. Advantage: England
Accents - They sound refined and intelligent. We sound brash and stupid. Advantage: England
Education - They have Oxford and Cambridge. Our teens have to take remedial courses after graduating high school just to catch up to high school level. Advantage: England
Religion - Britain ranks 6th in the world in belief in evolution. The U.S. ranks next-to-last, only beating Turkey. Advantage: England
Fitness - What Americans consider "average," the English consider portly. Advantage: England
Cars - Proximity to other European countries gives them easy access to all manner of stunning vehicles. We drive minivans or Japanese boxes. Advantage: England
Ruling Party - The Royal Family is an outdated product of inbreeding. Our president is George W. Bush. Advantage: Tie
Music - They gave the world The Beatles, The Sex Pistols and Black Sabbath. We came up with Britney Spears, Winger and Vanilla Ice. Advantage: England
Food - We have soul food, southern cuisine, extremely varied local fare and all imaginable mixes of ethnic food. They have kippers, mince pie and spotted dick. Advantage: US
There you go! We may not be the smartest or the healthiest. We may drive crappy cars and produce pointless entertainment that embarrasses us ten years later. But at least here in America we don't have to eat a Curly Wurly or suck on a Fisherman's Friend. Thank your lucky stars for our independence.
USA! USA! USA!
Labels: 4th of july, england, independence day
